Vulvas Are Beautiful. ALL of them.

Y’all know by now that I’m all about patient education and empowerment. I want my patients to understand their bodies and what they’re experiencing, as well as their options for improving unwanted symptoms. I’m an anatomy nerd who loves pulling out my pelvic model and showing people what their pelvic floor looks like. 

But I’m also always aware and humbled by how much my patients teach me. 

I was talking with a patient one day, and I had suggested that she use a mirror to look at her vulva and help her brain better understand the difference between contracting and relaxing her pelvic floor muscles. She was on a healing journey and found her way to me for help with pelvic pain. The mirror exercise is a great one for connecting the brain and body so that they can work better together, instead of against each other.

My patient got out a mirror and took a good look at her vulva… and had questions. This was the first time she really, truly looked at this part of her body. She intellectually knew about what all was going on down there, but she had never really seen it. And now she had questions. 

Looking at her body up close and personal gave this patient a sense of curiosity, but also empowerment. I watched her light up talking about really embracing this part of her body, and her own sexuality. It is one of my favorite things. I love seeing patients come to understand how AMAZING their bodies are. They do wonderous things, bring us pleasure, create life (if you’re into that whole procreation thing), and move us through our days. But sometimes, we’ve been raised to think that there is an idea to which we should all aspire.

My patient reminded me that we really, really need to normalize natural variations in bodies. Vulvas are high up on the list of things that people feel ashamed of based on what society and culture has told them is “normal”. We’ve been conditioned to believe that there is a standard for vulvas: labia should be this size; skin should be this color; hair should be no longer than this and not extend past these borders, or should be removed altogether.

I see lots, and lots, and lots of vulvas. I can tell you they come in all shapes, sizes, colors, and even textures. Those stupid tropes about your labia shape/size indicating how sexually active or inactive you’ve been are in no way true. They’re just another way to make people with vulvas ashamed of themselves, their bodies, and their sexuality. And I’m over it. 

Plastic surgeons are seeing a rise in TEENAGERS who are unhappy with their vulvas and want labiaplasty, or the reshaping/resizing of their labia. I said TEENAGERS. As if teenagers don’t have enough pressure about how their bodies look. Grown adults aren’t immune to the pressure either. It’s bullshit, and it needs to stop.

Please trust me when I say the appearance of every vulva is different, and what is considered normal by the medical community is far, far more varied that what you might have been taught by society at large. If you have a vulva, grab a mirror and take a good look! Get to know all of its unique characteristics which make it perfect exactly as it is!