When Sex Hurts
Sex should be fun, right? No matter how you define sex in your own life, we as human beings engage in sexual activities with other people for far more than procreation. Pleasure, intimacy, and stress relief are great reasons to have sex.
For some people though, sex is far from pleasurable, and can even be downright painful. If something hurts, we’re often reluctant to do that thing. The primitive part of our brain tries really hard to protect us from things that hurt. But if sex is something you want, and something you’d really like to enjoy, NOT being able to have it because it hurts can affect so many things, from our sense of self to our intimate relationships.
Pain with sex comes in many forms. For people with vulvas/vaginas, it can be deep pelvic or even abdominal pain that happens with vaginal penetration. The medical term for this is dyspareunia. Remember, penetration can be performed with more than a penis - it can involve fingers or toys as well. And, sex isn’t the only time something is inserted into the vagina. Pain can also happen when trying to wear a tampon, or getting a pelvic exam with a speculum. It can affect far more than just your sex life.
Pain can also be limited to the vulva. For people who experience vulvodynia (vulvar pain - we’ll dive deeper into this topic another time), even light touch to some parts of the vulva can cause excruciating pain. For people with vulvodynia, pain can also extend beyond sexual activity. It can make sitting, walking, or wearing tight pants uncomfortable or even intolerable.
I’m passionate about helping people who have dyspareunia and vulvodynia because I was one of them. The number of tests I had was exhausting, and the treatments that I was prescribed by various doctors over many years’ time didn’t help. What did help was pelvic floor physical therapy. My PT provided me with treatments as well as education about how I could help myself heal. The healing that I experienced is the reason I went to school to become a pelvic floor PT. If you’re experiencing any of these symptoms, please know that you’re not alone, AND that there’s help available to you. Call, email, text, carrier pigeon - whatever means necessary, reach out to me. I’d love to help you like my PT helped me.
